Category: Satirical Journalism
Who Runs Columbia University?
Who Runs Columbia University? An Investigation In the hallowed halls of Columbia University, where ivy clings to…
China’s Galactic Ambitions
China’s Galactic Ambitions Include Moon McMansions, Martian Dirt Imports, and a Jupiterian HOA Bohiney.com Exclusive BEIJING— After…
Sam Altman’s Firing
Sam Altman’s Firing Was Just a Little Boardroom Genocide: A Comedy of AIrrors It started over sashimi….
The Playboy Mansion: America’s Last Lustful Location
Inside the Grotto: Jamie Kennedy, the Playboy Mansion, and America’s Last Indoor Lagoon of Lust The Grotto…
Putin Announces New Plan to ‘De-Nazify’ Mars
Putin Announces New Plan to ‘De-Nazify’ Mars Just in Case Extraterrestrial Ideologies Under Review In a declaration…
Trump Demands Recount
Trump Demands Recount After Losing Checkers Game to 8-Year-Old A Game of Kings, Pawns, and Tiny Tyrants…
Subtle Signs Your Relationship is Ending
Love in the ICU: 15 Subtle Clues Your Relationship Is Flatlining Dateline: Somewhere Between Your Last Couples…
Rep. Victoria Spartz Silences Town Hall Marxists
‘Sit Down, Karl Marx!’: Rep. Victoria Spartz Silences Town Hall Marxists with 15 Glorious One-Liners and Exactly…
You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!
BREAKING: “You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!” (Spoiler: Still Nothing. But Also Maybe Taxes.) By Barbie McHonesty,…
Freedom of Speech Doesn’t Apply
Supreme Court Rules Freedom of Speech Doesn’t Apply to People Who Won’t Shut Up When Silence Is…
Politicians Must Read Bills Before Voting
BREAKING: Congress Passes Bill Requiring All Politicians to Actually Read Bills Before Voting A Monumental Leap for…
Myanmar’s Earthquake Saga
Fault Lines, Junta Jitters, and Buildings Made of Tapioca: Myanmar’s Earthquake Saga A Casual Relationship Between Tectonic…
WSJ Interviews Hawk TuahGirl
EXCLUSIVE: The Wall Street Journal Interviews Hawk Tuah Girl “I Hawk’d, I Tuah’d, and America Invested in…
Gavin Newsom Empties California Mental Institutions
Gavin Newsom Empties California Mental Institutions for “Destroy Tesla Tuesday” An Exclusive Report from Bohiney’s Only Reporter…
Too Big to Die
Too Big to Die: The Legal Battle Over Waistlines and Justice Florida, the state where logic retires…
Marriage Is a Scam We Both Agreed To
Marriage Is a Scam We Both Agreed To: 15 Pills Your Therapist Can’t Sugarcoat WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS…
Wichita Falls Ranks #2 in Cheap Stuff
Wichita Falls Ranks #2 in Cheap Living—Residents Demand Recount, Hoping for First Why settle for ‘affordable’ when…
Sam Altman’s Harem of Pirated Girlfriends
Sam Altman’s Harem of Pirated Girlfriends Sparks Legal, Moral, and Metaphysical Panic “He’s not dating women—he’s dating…
Donald Trump Branding
Donald Trump Branding Genius Donald Trump Branding: How One Man Turned Politics into a Lifestyle Merch Pyramid…
Dating Coach Accidentally Invented Romantic Stalking
The Sticky Eyes Revolution: How One Dating Coach Accidentally Invented Romantic Stalking WASHINGTON, DC — It started…
Ramadan in Gaza
Ramadan in Gaza: The Only Fasting App That Comes with Airstrikes Holy Month, Holy Hell In theory,…
AI vs Superheroes and Cartoon Characters
Breaking News: Fair Use Doctrine Enlists Superheroes and Cartoon Characters in Epic Battle Against AI Overlords In…
Oops, We Invited Karl Marx to the Missile Launch
Oops, We Invited Karl Marx to the Missile Launch Group Chat Tulsi Gabbard adds traitorous Marxist to…
Jeffry Goldberg’s Yellow Journalism and Red Flags
Comrade Goldberg’s Panic Parade: The Atlantic’s Leader in Yellow Journalism and Red Flags An exposé of how…
Deadpool Daddy – Ryan Reynolds
Child Star or Future Plaintiff? Ryan Reynolds Faces Backlash and Legal Challenges Ryan Reynolds is facing criticism…
Art of ‘Meeting Quality Women’
Coffee, Karma & Cardio: How to Meet a ‘Quality Woman’ Without Getting Pepper-Sprayed A Bold New Era…
Vertical Farming
The Not-So-Green Realities of Vertical Farming High Costs and Limited Crop Variety Vertical farming isn’t just about…
Bezos’ Wedding Photos
Bezos’ Wedding Photos: A Billionaire’s Guide to Curated Intimacy Wedding Photos from Venice are Stunning… VENICE, ITALY…
What Women Do When They Like You
Decoding the Enigma: What Women Do When They Like You From Hair Flips to Giggles: What Women…
Portland or Prosperity?
Portland or Prosperity? The Socialist Sog of Oregon vs. the Boot-Strapped Boomtown of Nocona, Texas Once Upon…
Prince William’s Royal Tantrums
Prince William’s Royal Tantrums Rock the Monarchy: Kate Middleton Now Referred to as ‘Mother of Four’ The…
Retirement Insight
Retirement: The Mental Apocalypse You’ve Been Saving For Retirement: Finally, You Can Sit Still Long Enough to…
Bureaucrats Gone Broke
No More Government Credit Card, No More Lingerie: Bureaucrats Gone Broke Y’all ever seen a D.C. bureaucrat…
AI Robots to Tap Trees
Rubber Dystopia: China Unleashes AI Robots to Tap Trees—and Human Hope The Revolution Will Be Tapped HAIKOU,…
Read or Be Red: Ukraine’s Secret Book Clubs
The Book Was Mightier Than the Bomb: Ukraine’s Underground Readers Declare War on Russian History Clandestine book…
Denzel Washington Refuses to Be a Hollywood Actor
Denzel Washington Refuses to Be a Hollywood Actor, Orders Soul Instead of Soy By the world’s oldest…
Sheer Dresses and Fishnets
Men Are Scared of Sheer Dresses and Fishnets: A Deep Dive into the Male Brain on Date…
The Ron White Roast
Front Row at the The Ron White Roast “Tater Salad & Regret: A Roast of Ron White”…
Prince George Gets Drunk
Prince George Gets Drunk on Mead Spritzers, Tells Entire Palace to F* Off** It’s like Prince Harry…
Texting ‘We’re Gonna Effing Mess Them Up’ Is Not Top Secret
Judge Rules White House Texting ‘We’re Gonna Effing Mess Them Up’ Is Not Top Secret When Diplomacy…
World’s Worse Hobbies
Ten Shared Hobbies That Will Ruin Your Life, Friendships, and Probably Your Credit Score It all seems…
Biden & the Broadway Production of “Othello”
Broadway Joe: President Emeritus Biden Attends ‘Othello’ and Forgets Who’s Othello The Play Was Othello, What Joe…
Ivy League Universities Return to “Civics 101”
Ivy League Universities Replace ‘Chaos 101’ with ‘Civics 101’ Civics 101 Student Protests Erupt In a move…
GPT-4.5: Now With Feelings, Mood Swings
GPT-4.5: The AI That Understands Your Trauma Better Than Your Mom Silicon Sentience: Now With Feelings, Mood…
Another Statue of Liberty?
Statue Rejected: America’s Monumental Commitment Issues WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that has left international art…
Columbia University Caves
Columbia University Officially Denounces Marx, Lenin, Kombucha, and Feelings Columbia University’s New Era of Practical Pretending Begins…
2025 Democratic Meltdown
Therapy, TikTok, and Tearful Latte Art: Inside the 2025 Democratic Meltdown James Blair Scowled, Democrats Spiraled In…
Federal Judge Vows to Reimport Violent Criminals
Federal Judge Vows to Reimport Violent Criminals Deported by Trump—Says U.S. Crime Needs More Diversity WASHINGTON, D.C….
Fredericksburg, Texas
The New Aspen of Texas — How a Sleepy Town Became a Playground for the Super Rich From Antiques to Armani…
A Literary Criticism of the “DEI Visibility Adjustment” Email
The “DEI Visibility Adjustment” email, a fictional yet strikingly plausible satirical artifact, serves as a masterclass in…